I need that pamphlet!

Do you remember when planning your next move in life was a simple as 1,2,3? Like, hmmmm I just got out of junior high, what should I do?? Go to high school. Well, I graduated from high school, what should I do?? Go to college. Or get a job. Now that I've graduated from college (or have a job), what should I do?? Get a job. Or get a better job. Or travel. Now I have a job, have traveled, or make ample amounts of money, what should I do?? Get married, have a baby, buy a house... WAIT ONE MINUTE HERE! WTF? Where did that come from? That's what OLD PEOPLE do! (no offense old people, or young people who act old)

Now that I'm sober, I've decided to try to plan my next life move. This is harder than it may seem to some-what normal people. Most would say, just do what you want, do what makes sense, do what would make you happy. I, on the other hand, am not most people. I insist on thinking about just about every single thing a young, college educated couple with teaching experience and a love for travel MIGHT possibly do. Currently the list includes (but is not limit to):

1. Staying in Korea for as long as needed to pay off my student loans.
   
2. Take the money we have saved and go on an epic trip around the world (on a very thin shoestring).
3. Take the money we have saved and live in an under-developed country (e.g. Mexico, Peru, Costa Rica) for as long as possible, while living the dream of no job and no responsibilities.
4. Go back to the states, enroll in a state university and get graduate degrees and teaching certifications.
   
5. Go to a different country and teach English.
   
6. Have a baby. Everyone knows this means pretty much everything else is out the window. :) If I want kids, I sure as hell don't want to be old and pregnant.
   
7. Get married. I don't know why, but Dan LOVES this idea. Not today, of course.
   
8. Learn to built platforms high up in jungle trees and become zip-line tour guides.
9. Move back to Oregon, get stupid jobs and have fun showing Dan all around the coolest state in the union.
10. Attempt to gain admission to an awesome university abroad, where we could get our master degrees without selling whats left of our souls to the CitiBank evil empire. The UK perhaps? Australia or New Zealand?

As you can see, I've got a lot of options here. I'm so grateful to realistically have all these options. But seriously, how the hell am I supposed to know what to do? One big down side of having an incredibly intelligent and wonderful partner is he keeps coming up with even MORE things we could do. I don't know how other people decide this stuff, but if I could get that pamphlet at the next "What to do with your life when everything seems like a good idea" meeting, that would be great. Thanks!

The Teetotaled Song

So we've been wanting to write a post about famous teetotalers for a while now. You'd be surprised about how many very successful people don't drink at all. So we decided to get creative and use Adam Sandler for inspiration. There were many people we couldn't include, like Sarah Silverman, Samuel L. Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, Trent Reznor, Cristian Ronaldo and Malcom X, that also definitely deserve a mention. Whenever we're struggling to stay sober we just think of these guys... what motivation!

We wrote these lyrics using the Hanukkah Song by Adam Sandler.

There are a lot of songs about drinking out there… so we wrote this one for all those nice kids who don’t get to hear any songs about sobriety… so here goes.

Get out your dignity, it’s time to celebrate sobriety,
So much rationality when we celebrate sobriety.

Sobriety is a festival of clarity,
instead of one night of blackouts,
we have weekends fuuull of activity!

When you feel like the only adult in town without a drink in hand,
here’s a list of people who are sober just like you and me… (or maybe just me)

Warren E. Buffet just counts up his money,
So do Jim Carrey, Natalie Portman and the late Bill O’Reilly (okay, we just wish he was dead)

Guess who gets a water at the Oscar after party,
Rob Lowe from Party of Five and Christina Ricci.

Eminem’s half sober, Bruce Willis is half too,
Put them together,
What a crazy fucked up crew!

You don’t need tequlia or a whiskey on the rocks,
Cause you can party sober with Steve Jobs and Tyra Banks (both clean!)

Get out your dignity, it’s time to celebrate sobriety,
Bruce Lee, a master of kung fu-ity, celebrates sobriety.

Rush Limbaugh... is not sober.
But guess who is?
Rock n’ roller Alice Cooper (he converted!)

We got Ann Landers and Muhammad Ali,
Amy Winehouse wants to be sober,
Hey! It’s not all that easy!

Some people think that George W. Bush is,
Well he’s not. But guess who is,
KISS front man Gene Simmons!

So many teetotalers are in show biz,
Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t,
but I heard her husband is!

Go tell Pete Doherty, it’s time to celebrate sobriety,
The whole country of Saudia Abrab-ity practices sobriety,
If you don’t want a D.U.I. –ity then work on your sobriety,
So drink your virgin daiquiri and smoke your mara-juan-ity
And be happy, happy, happy happy with your dignity!


Let us know what you think! A&D :)

Amanda has goals for our experiences

I'm not as much of a goal oriented person, therefore the drinking, the excessive, excessive, sweet, sweet, drinking. Amanda, on the other hand, has goals and aspirations for her life, and I'm being dragged into it. Ok our goals:

• Get into shape. This means running, jumping, lunging, louging, lifting, pushing, pulling, climbing, yoga, and tandem cardiovascular workouts.
• Do shit. Like real shit. The type of shit that you can't do with a monkey playing the cymbals in your head on Sunday morning. This involves travel, hiking, learning, reading (and remembering), and writing.
• Save money. We can't count the times we've woken up with a financial deficit we were completely unable to account for hidden somewhere between 2 am and 7 am. Not to mention trips to Lotteria, Little Pete's, Pishee and Grillee, etcetera.
• Move to NYC. Therefore, the aforemetioned financial goal. SK, you're great... well you're not that great, so we gotta go. Our contracts expire August 2010! Peace, Ajummas.
• Have fun. This is the real Everest of the list.

Amanda has goals for our year. Dan prefers a more shoot first ask questions later approach. We'll see how our intrepid teetotaling explorers fare on another edition of My so-called sober life... See you next time!